May 29, 1903-July 27, 2003

I hope this puts a smile in your face and your heart:

On turning 70: "You still chase women, but only downhill."

On turning 80: "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing."

On turning 90: "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

On turning 100: "I don't feel old. In fact I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."

On giving up his early career of boxing: "I ruined my hands in the ring... the referee kept stepping on them."

On never winning an Oscar: "Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'."

On golf: "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees."

On Presidents: "I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six."

On why he chose showbiz: "When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, 'Congratulations. You have an eight-pound ham'."

On receiving Congressional Gold Medal: "I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it."

On his families early poverty: "Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother."

On his six brothers: "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom."

On his early failures: "I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me."

On going to heaven: "I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."

Thanks for the memories, Mr. Hope.

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