Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Walmart:

•July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

• July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares" and watched what happened.

• Aug 4: Went to the service desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

• Sept 14: Moved a 'Caution - Wet Floor' sign to a carpeted area.

• Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'd bring pillows from the bedding department.

• Sept 23: When a clerk asked if she can help him, he begins to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

• Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

• Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

• Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

• Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack, and when people browsed through, yelled, "Pick me! Pick me!"

• Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed, "No! No! It's those voices again!" And last, but not least...

• Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

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